After his grandson got burned with a memecoin launch rug pull on Solana, one local grandfather was heard yammering all the way at the bottom of the holler about how kids these days don’t go outside, and instead just pump their game who-diddies.

“Pump.fun? In my day we called it makin’ whoopie! I used to pump Tammy Wilkerson for fun every Friday after ROTC club. Before I met your grandmother, of course.” Johnny, the grandson in question, drew a deep breath of hopium, pining for the day that a meme coin could catapult him from the trailer park to the cockpit of a new Lambo.

Grandpa continued to heckle and admonish Johnny. What grandpa doesn’t know is that Johnny is using his social security checks to fund his meme coin purchases and his campaign to save the world, one OnlyFans model at a time.

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