Shrimpy’s Crypto News

Satire, Memecoins & Cryptocurrency News

  • Packs of Wild SHIB Terrorize Rancher & Livestock

    Packs of Wild SHIB Terrorize Rancher & Livestock

    Montana rancher Dan Dingle revealed to Shrimpy’s that packs of SHIB Shina Inu have been swarming his thousand-acre ranch, making targeted attacks on his cattle and frightening his chickens to death. Drone photos have caught visible evidence that these once adorable crypto pets are now bloodthirsty savages. “I was told these things were being burned!”…

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  • I DCA’d Myself Into Bankruptcy. Am I Doing It Right?

    I DCA’d Myself Into Bankruptcy. Am I Doing It Right?

    Beginner crypto investor Raymond C. has been consistently Dollar Cost Averaging (DCA) into several alt coin positions over the last couple of years. He also watched two minutes of a YouTube video about “buying the dip”, and immediately began finding several downtrending coins to purchase. Unfortunately, no one told Raymond that this strategy only pays…

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  • Local Couple Bummed Uniswap not Hookup Site

    Local Couple Bummed Uniswap not Hookup Site

    Joe and Jane H. were excited to get into the swinging scene as they began their eighth year of matrimony. Hormone-driven Google searches had led the couple to stumble upon uniswap.org, hoping to find amateur lust and not a robust Defi ecosystem. “I mean, we are looking for a unicorn, and swapping is uh…part of…

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Shrimpy’s Bag

Want to stay up-to-date on the most entertaining cryptocurrency news and blockchain tomfoolery? Shrimpy’s Crypto News has you covered with breaking updates on your favorite L1s, L2s, zombie chains, meme coins, Defi plays, DePin potholes, smart contract street urchins and degen slippage traders.

This site is for entertainment purposes only and should NOT be construed as fact, investment advice or logical conjecture. This site is pure farce, satire and comedy to lighten the hearts of the masses.

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