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“That Sounds Dirty” – Mom Complains About MetaMask Name
“But ma’, it’s just a wallet!” When local man Joey Spaghetti told his Ma during dinner that he was checking his MetaMask bag, she slapped him upside the head with a loaf of bread. “Ma!!” Joey exclaimed while clutching his bashed noggin’. “You keep that kinky shit out of my house. Your uncle Tony was…
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DogWifHat Arrested for Perving Around DOGEtown
Monday, 2 AM – DOGEtown police received calls from at least 3 concerned citizens, stating a “pervy” looking dog was lurking around their neighborhood, sporting a hat and trench coat and looking into people’s bedroom windows. Shrimpy’s went deep inside the metropolis with too much dander to get the exclusive scoop. “He was a peepin’…
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Stablecoins Reliable but Smell Kind of Shitty
What happens when you spend all day in a stable? Welp, you stink like horse poop. Yup, it’s not rocket science and you don’t need a cryptography degree to connect the dots. But hey, if you are making sweet APY and can avoid government oversight, maybe reeking like Sea Biscuit’s bussy isn’t that bad. “Everyone…
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Explosion of Baby Meme Coins Stresses Medical System
Holy storks! There are so many baby meme coins being spawned every day that local hospitals have been experiencing a crisis. Too many babies and not enough trained stuff to deliver them, plus a shortage of Web 3.0 adapted formula and diapers are making a big poopy mess of the cryptocurrency market. “This is not…
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Gary Ginsler Finds Bliss with New Hot Dog Cart Biz Venture
We at Shrimpy’s were shocked yet pleasantly delighted to find retired SEC official Gary Ginsler, running the new hot dog cart in the heart of New York’s financial district. Turns out he is the owner operator and has always had a passion for serving quality weiners. “To be frank, I enjoy the soft and quiet…
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BLAST Coin: ETH L2 Inspired by Fits of Diarrhea?
When Shrimpy’s first heard about BLAST coin, we knew we had found an ETH L2 that really spoke to our heart. Often the office bathroom here at Shrimpy’s is full of blasting, usually about 20-30 minutes after lunch hour. Things got better when the Subway sandwich shop moved out, but shit (quite literally) has gotten…
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This site is for entertainment purposes only and should NOT be construed as fact, investment advice or logical conjecture. This site is pure farce, satire and comedy to lighten the hearts of the masses.
Shrimpy
Crypto Trader