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Prime Minister Ousted After Proposing Strategic JASMY reserve
The prime minister of Monrovia was voted out-of-office in a later night parliament vote after earlier comments in the week regarding the JASMY altcoin. Sources say the prime minister had been drinking too much behind closed doors, others suggest he was getting bad investment advice from his brother-in-law at holiday functions. “The fact the prime…
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Validator feels validated every god damn day!
Local node operator and validator for several blockchains, Victoria Storm enjoys the confidence and self-assuredness that a giant pile of crypto assets can bring. “I have so much fucking money it’s not even funny. I’ve been getting airdrops since 2017 and was staking way before it was cool.” Feeling the swell of power course through…
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Arbitrum: They’ve Got the Meats
While other Ethereum L2s offer little to be desired in area of delicious snacks and tasty sandwiches, Arbitrum comes in strong with its’ new Beef and Cheddar and Bacon and Prime Rib stackable grinder. Weighing in at over 1/2 lbs of greasy, saturated fat, this new offering from Arbitrum shows they are really putting down…
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Packs of Wild SHIB Terrorize Rancher & Livestock
Montana rancher Dan Dingle revealed to Shrimpy’s that packs of SHIB Shina Inu have been swarming his thousand-acre ranch, making targeted attacks on his cattle and frightening his chickens to death. Drone photos have caught visible evidence that these once adorable crypto pets are now bloodthirsty savages. “I was told these things were being burned!”…
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I DCA’d Myself Into Bankruptcy. Am I Doing It Right?
Beginner crypto investor Raymond C. has been consistently Dollar Cost Averaging (DCA) into several alt coin positions over the last couple of years. He also watched two minutes of a YouTube video about “buying the dip”, and immediately began finding several downtrending coins to purchase. Unfortunately, no one told Raymond that this strategy only pays…
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Local Couple Bummed Uniswap not Hookup Site
Joe and Jane H. were excited to get into the swinging scene as they began their eighth year of matrimony. Hormone-driven Google searches had led the couple to stumble upon uniswap.org, hoping to find amateur lust and not a robust Defi ecosystem. “I mean, we are looking for a unicorn, and swapping is uh…part of…
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