Ron Denver won $50,000 in his state’s scratch off lottery ticket contest. Rather than piss it away and coke and whores, Ron hatched a brilliant plan. An investment plan. A strategy, the most macro mofo strategy of all time. And it was just sitting there in plain sight. So obvious it was a wonder why no one had thought of it sooner. Ron would travel back in time to buy BTC at the price of $1.

Ron made all the right moves. He bought a DeLorean, rigged it with a flux capacitor and got it up to 88 mph in his local mall parking lot. But damn if something didn’t go wrong somewhere along the way. Instead of ending up in 2010, Ron somehow jettisoned all the way to 1793, landing in a corn field near the early Jamestown settlement.

Unfortunately, Ron is no super genius and there was no Doc Brown around for him to buddy up with in 1793, essentially leaving him stranded there. At first he had major fomo, but then remembered that the early days on the New York Stock Exchange would soon be starting, and he could buy some Sears Roebuck shares at IPO prices. SCORE!

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