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IHOP Launches Memecoin: Immediately Sued by Pancake Swap
When everyone’s favorite corporate flapjack house announced on X that they would be launching a new memecoin, fuzzy and floppy eared lawyers from Pancake Swap immediately served the chain with a cease and desist order. “We are the only legit Pancake DEX in Web 3.0 and beyond. It would be confusing for the consumer if…
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Does Michael Saylor Have the Biggest Dick in The World?
When Michael Saylor first announced that Microstrategies (MSTR) was building strategic reserves of BTC as their primary asset class, one could definitely say that the strategy was “ballsy”. But now that the company has compiled more than 2% of all Bitcoin mined at the time of this writing, one begins to wonder if Michael Saylor…
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BNB Coin: I though it stood for bed and breakfast
These were the words from confused crypto trader Dan Eveready. “I mean, my grandma was super into BnB’s in the 80’s and I thought maybe the coin was part of that movement”. Though not dead yet, we were pretty sure we heard CZ rolling in his future grave as the cringe ensued. While yellow and…
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Local man afraid to buy 1INCH because of what it may imply
“I’m way bigger than that.” Bathed in sunlight and speedo, local crypto trader Thad Muggins has told Shrimpy’s that he is not buying 1INCH coin, mostly due to what he thinks it may imply about his manhood. ” I mean c’mon man. I’m in the DeFi game to GET the chicks, not scare them off.”…
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Polygon, MATIC or POL? Does anyone actually care?
In the world of rapidly growing L2 ETH chain availability, sometimes a rebrand can be the answer to increase blockchain volume. Other times it can just be super fucking confusing and makes this reporter say “but why?!!”. In a poll conducted by the team at Shrimpy’s, we found out that most traders, hodlers and casual…
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Trader who aped into APE coin, now living on Skid Row
In a classic riches-to-rags story, Donny Cheddar has fallen on a long term downtrend of hard times, starting with his conversion of a giant nest of US Treasury bonds into APE coin. This was a really poor decision in hindsight, as Donny bought-in near APE’s ATH of $27 and now the coin is trolling the…
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Shrimpy
Crypto Trader