In some cities, vandalizing your local 7-11 with fesces and toilet paper will get you community services and a hefty USDT fine. But the law in Stakeville doesn’t play, and one one wrong move can get you locked up in the pokey. Take it from this reporter. I had one crazy night fueled with nitrous oxide and a frisky local civil servant at my hotel, and the next morning I wake up in the local jail with a court date with a judge.

Apparently at some point between cracking a whole case of whip its and shooting a handle of tequila, I walked down to the 7-11 at the corner, got in a fight with the worker behind the counter and then proceeded to lay an upper decker on the front windows of the establishment. I blacked out completely and would not have believed the prosecuting attorney’s story had it not been for the 4K Ultra HD viewed footage of me doing so. Ugh, those foxy civil servants. My kryptonite.

So now I have this Tether on my ankle for the next three months and find it super annoying that the value regularly dips below $1.00.

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