“But ma’, it’s just a wallet!”

When local man Joey Spaghetti told his Ma during dinner that he was checking his MetaMask bag, she slapped him upside the head with a loaf of bread. “Ma!!” Joey exclaimed while clutching his bashed noggin’.

“You keep that kinky shit out of my house. Your uncle Tony was into bondage and look where that got him!” Ma barked. Uncle Tony had lived undercover for decades as a mild-mannered meat butcher, but had died tragically at the age of 60 after masturbating while hanging himself with a belt and an Ethereum shaped butt plug.

“Ma, it’s a crypto wallet. It’s where I keep my Bitcoin and Ripple. Someday I’m gonna be a millionaire and open my own pizzeria.”

“Oh crypto. I do like that Shiba Inu. So cute!” Ma smiled.

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