-
(OP) Optimism: “Yeah, right..” Says Local Pessimist
When word hit the streets in this small town that a new ETH L2 would be optimistically rolling up transactions, local pessimist, my dad, said “Yeah, right. Fucking bullshit.” Thing is, what the fuck does he know? He just watches Let’s Make a Deal and swears at the TV all day. I think he has…
-
Guess What? Your Porn Browsing History Will Soon Be Stored on the Blockchain.
The good ole days of clearing browser history and clearing your cache to cover your freaky kinks are just about over. Soon, just like every other fucking thing, your internet browser history will be stored on the blockchain forever, and your IP address will also be tied to that record. So how does one avoid…
-
LUNC Chart Resembles San Andreas Trench
You ever see that movie The Abyss? Where the drilling machine is pulled over the deepest gorge in the ocean and falllllllllllllllls into the darkness. Well from a TA point of view, the LUNCUSD trading pair looks very similar to that falling into the abyss price action. Shenanigans erupted years ago and pitched price action…
-
Heidi Klum Revealed as Satoshi Nakamoto?
When the mistress of Halloween, Heidi Klum, showed up at a recent Hollywood party dressed in a somewhat revealing Bitcoin costume, the rumor mill kicked into full gear. Is Heidi Klum also the long sought after Satoshi Nakamoto, creator of Bitcoin? Could it be? Shrimpy’s went deep undercover as fledgling fashion designers and followed Tim…
-
Man Travels Back in Time to Buy Bitcoin at $1, Ends Up in 1793
Ron Denver won $50,000 in his state’s scratch off lottery ticket contest. Rather than piss it away and coke and whores, Ron hatched a brilliant plan. An investment plan. A strategy, the most macro mofo strategy of all time. And it was just sitting there in plain sight. So obvious it was a wonder why…
-
(IOTA) Not Showing an Iota of a Bull Trend
Do you need to explain the concept of gravity through a cryptocurrency chart? Well pull up a candlestick chart of IOTA, a distributed ledger technology, and you can see things are going down, down, down, down. They goin down, down down. Ever seen a downtrend started in 2017 that’s still going? Check out IOTA. What…
Shrimpy’s Crypto News
Satire, Memecoins & Cryptocurrency News
Shrimpy’s Bag
Want to stay up-to-date on the most entertaining cryptocurrency news and blockchain tomfoolery? Shrimpy’s Crypto News has you covered with breaking updates on your favorite L1s, L2s, zombie chains, meme coins, Defi plays, DePin potholes, smart contract street urchins and degen slippage traders.
This site is for entertainment purposes only and should NOT be construed as fact, investment advice or logical conjecture. This site is pure farce, satire and comedy to lighten the hearts of the masses.
Shrimpy
Crypto Trader