Shrimpy’s Crypto News

Satire, Memecoins & Cryptocurrency News

  • AI Agent Falls in Love with Target in Spy Game Romance

    AI Agent Falls in Love with Target in Spy Game Romance

    After a race through Paris on motorbikes, a bloody fist fight on a motel balcony and plenty of gunfire, X24WahWah, AI Agent by trade, fell deeply in love for their target. After living undercover in a bungalow in Wales for 3 months, X24WahWah fell hard for their neighbor, Stan Hardswallow. A gentleman valued in his…

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  • SUSHI News: Sushiswap Temporarily Shut Down by Health Department

    SUSHI News: Sushiswap Temporarily Shut Down by Health Department

    During a busy lunch rush this week Sushiswap (SUSHI) was temporarily shut down by the health department. Docked for messy prep stations, cleaning products stored next to food products and lack of hand washing stations throughout the kitchen, the very busy swap received notice they had 48 hours to comply or receive further suspensions. “48…

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  • Chart Shows COQ Drooping

    Chart Shows COQ Drooping

    When this AVAX blockchain meme coin first launched, COQ was shooting straight up. All time highs led to price discovery and those highs helped fuel a meme coin rally that rocked the Snowtrace community. But recently, the firm price action of COQ coin has been softening up, and a classic Aging Rod candlestick pattern has…

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  • HBAR Cleary for Dudes with Killer Mustaches

    HBAR Cleary for Dudes with Killer Mustaches

    What makes a great crypto? Is it value? Is it community? Or maybe real world application? Well hey, maybe it’s just a sweet name. Though no one ever said it out loud, this Shrimpy’s reporter is pretty sure HBAR is short for “handlebar” and by handlebar we mean the mustache kind. It all makes terrible…

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  • Woah, a NFT for Free USDT? : A Honeypot Tale

    Woah, a NFT for Free USDT? : A Honeypot Tale

    If it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Those are words spawned from age-old wisdom, and should be heeded every time one finds free stuff in their crypto wallet. Unless you have a rich uncle with your ETH wallet address, no one is sending you real money for free. Remember that. This tale…

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  • Basic Attention Token (BAT) : Fails to Keep Traders’ Attention

    Basic Attention Token (BAT) : Fails to Keep Traders’ Attention

    “You see this chart pattern here? This would imply super low volume and intense selling pressure. But I can’t short it, so why bother?” said Chuck Seaver, crypto futures and options trader. “BAT is starting to look like a giant pile of guano, strictly from a TA perspective of course.” Shrimpy’s surveyed 100 traders with…

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Shrimpy’s Bag

Want to stay up-to-date on the most entertaining cryptocurrency news and blockchain tomfoolery? Shrimpy’s Crypto News has you covered with breaking updates on your favorite L1s, L2s, zombie chains, meme coins, Defi plays, DePin potholes, smart contract street urchins and degen slippage traders.

This site is for entertainment purposes only and should NOT be construed as fact, investment advice or logical conjecture. This site is pure farce, satire and comedy to lighten the hearts of the masses.

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