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AXL and ROSE Coins Team Up : Welcome to The Jungle
AXL and ROSE blockchains, they got fun and games. They got everything you want…something, something, something. Gossip broke at a recent Hollywood party that the creators of and AXL and ROSE Network were teaming up to create a new supergroup. This is really good news in Shrimpy’s opinion, as the crypto space has a serious…
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8 of 10 Goth Kids Love Fantom Chain (FTM)
Those kids in school who dress in black, iron their hair with egg whites and wear eyeliner; yeah they are buying lots of Fantom coin. This reporter got up the courage to interview some of them during lunch hour. I have to be honest, I was a little intimidated by their lassez faire approach to…
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LINK: Not Just for Breakfast Anymore
“I prefer the patties”. LINK is a true oracle success story, embodying so many heroic elements, from rags to riches origins and Wall Street begging to be invited to its’ birthday party. And hey, LINK is more than just a delicious breakfast side. Victoria Storm hopped on a Zoom call to share her best LINK…
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SAND Coin Has Way of Getting into Every Crack
While having a sandbox to play and code in sounds fun and exciting, the reality is that you will find SAND in every crack, crease and orifice for weeks! This reporter took 3 showers, 1 cold plunge and air compressor enema and still managed to find grains of SAND in between my nuggets. Marketing promotions…
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Man Dies from Dysentery on the OriginTrail (TRAC)
Sheriffs from Crook County Oregon reported finding a man dead and decaying on the OriginTrail earlier this week. Autopsy findings revealed dysentery to be the cause of death. “Most likely this man was drinking unboiled water from a local mountain stream, or he recently returned from a foreign land that does engage in proper food…
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Balrog! Bitcoin Miners Dig Too Deep
A BTC mine in Brazil went too far recently, releasing a fiery Balrog into this earth and immediately engulfing acres of the rainforest in flames. “I don’t see what the big deal is. Technically it came from the Middle of the Earth, and the rainforest is already on fire, so….” panned a droll local. Hearty…
Shrimpy’s Crypto News
Satire, Memecoins & Cryptocurrency News
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Want to stay up-to-date on the most entertaining cryptocurrency news and blockchain tomfoolery? Shrimpy’s Crypto News has you covered with breaking updates on your favorite L1s, L2s, zombie chains, meme coins, Defi plays, DePin potholes, smart contract street urchins and degen slippage traders.
This site is for entertainment purposes only and should NOT be construed as fact, investment advice or logical conjecture. This site is pure farce, satire and comedy to lighten the hearts of the masses.
Shrimpy
Crypto Trader