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(CEX): Centralized Exchanges. Not as Sexy as They Sound.
You like people telling you what to do? You like being a pay pig for fees? Well have I got some websites for you. No, you sicko I am not talking about a fetish party. I am talking about Centralized Exchanges for crypto trading. AKA chokepoints, aka off ramps, aka no fun, KYC throbbin automated…
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PENGU: We Found Dead Pudgy Penguins Everywhere
From what I heard in the hype, everyone was supposed to HODL and preserve their PENGU. However, just weeks after these fuzzy and adorable wobblers hit traders’ wallets, Shrimpy’s reporters are finding dead pudgy penguins littering the landscape. Greenpeas biologist Treddy Miller informed us that their hasn’t been this much theoretical penguin bloodshed since the…
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(BOME) Book of Meme Found at Local Goodwill
In between the random tupperware, mismatched silverware, old toasters, smelly used shoes, moth ball ridden polo shirts and a large selection of old Christmas knick-knacks, this Shrimpy’s reporter find BOME hiding out with a couple of comic books and an old copy of Good Housekeeping at the local Goodwill Industries retail center. Apparently a number…
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RENDER Renders Rendering of a Tenderizer Tenderizing
I don’t know if it was the vibe in the air of the AI conference I was attending, or all the coke rails I had just been doing in the bathroom, but RENDER did some fucking rad AI shit right in front of me with a juicy steak and I will never be the same…
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Bitcoin Cash (BCH): Not Like Bitcoin or Cash
You ever been in a room of BTC maxis and start asking about BCH? Well its a fucking horrible idea, so don’t ever do it. That’s like calling Bitcoin “crypto”. You will get daggers thrown at you from every pair of judgmental eyes and tossed into the irrelevant bin, along with DVD copies of Space…
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GRASS Coin: We Rolled it Up and Smoked It
Regardless of the actual purpose of GRASS coin, we found if you hang it and dry it, you can smoke the flower portion and get reallllllly stoned. To be honest the flavor was a little harsh but that could have been cuz we rushed the drying process. You could also put it in a bong…
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Want to stay up-to-date on the most entertaining cryptocurrency news and blockchain tomfoolery? Shrimpy’s Crypto News has you covered with breaking updates on your favorite L1s, L2s, zombie chains, meme coins, Defi plays, DePin potholes, smart contract street urchins and degen slippage traders.
This site is for entertainment purposes only and should NOT be construed as fact, investment advice or logical conjecture. This site is pure farce, satire and comedy to lighten the hearts of the masses.
Shrimpy
Crypto Trader