-
Litecoin Actually Quite Chunky – Says Dietician
Like many diet fads that are sold as “healthy”, it appears that Litecoin (LTC) could be full of trans fat and hidden calories. “It’s actually quite chunky” said Dan Dribbler, a lesser known homeopathic dietician in the Appalachian Valley area. “I have been DCA’ing into Litecoin for the last 7 years and I have gained…
-
FIL Coin: We Filed Some Stuff. Now What?
We bought a proper filing cabinet for our FIL coin, hanging file dividers and manila file folders. Then we dropped our crypto wallet full of FIL coin into it. Now what? Any tips would be appreciated. “I’ve got files from before the Reagan era in an old kitchen cabinet” said this reporter’s grandmother. When a…
-
Hordes of FLOKI Invade Web 3.0 Coastline
Meta property owners be damned, this weekend hordes of FLOKI numbering in the tens of millions stormed a popular web 3.0 coastline beach community. The marauding was savage and ruthless, with mass counts of abductions and violent deeds being attributed to these cute ‘lil critters in their wee helmets. Prominently noted on the side of…
-
IHOP Launches Memecoin: Immediately Sued by Pancake Swap
When everyone’s favorite corporate flapjack house announced on X that they would be launching a new memecoin, fuzzy and floppy eared lawyers from Pancake Swap immediately served the chain with a cease and desist order. “We are the only legit Pancake DEX in Web 3.0 and beyond. It would be confusing for the consumer if…
-
Does Michael Saylor Have the Biggest Dick in The World?
When Michael Saylor first announced that Microstrategies (MSTR) was building strategic reserves of BTC as their primary asset class, one could definitely say that the strategy was “ballsy”. But now that the company has compiled more than 2% of all Bitcoin mined at the time of this writing, one begins to wonder if Michael Saylor…
-
BNB Coin: I though it stood for bed and breakfast
These were the words from confused crypto trader Dan Eveready. “I mean, my grandma was super into BnB’s in the 80’s and I thought maybe the coin was part of that movement”. Though not dead yet, we were pretty sure we heard CZ rolling in his future grave as the cringe ensued. While yellow and…
Shrimpy’s Crypto News
Satire, Memecoins & Cryptocurrency News
Shrimpy’s Bag
Want to stay up-to-date on the most entertaining cryptocurrency news and blockchain tomfoolery? Shrimpy’s Crypto News has you covered with breaking updates on your favorite L1s, L2s, zombie chains, meme coins, Defi plays, DePin potholes, smart contract street urchins and degen slippage traders.
This site is for entertainment purposes only and should NOT be construed as fact, investment advice or logical conjecture. This site is pure farce, satire and comedy to lighten the hearts of the masses.
Shrimpy
Crypto Trader